"Much Respect"

A.I.T.T.U.M was created as a way to explore possibilities and to express myself in certain ways. It was created to touch base on certain issue and so many other things. It's goal is to attract as many people as possible from different interest groups. AITTUM communication lines is huge allowing the readers to communicate with me directly through a variety of outlets. Although I do not post many things on the page that relates to or are similar in topics and discussions that I participate in through other sites that I affliate with or have, I will attempt to do so in 2012 as well as many other projects.This year was a rough draft for I will be releasing everything I have been working on this year in 2012. Everyone who read this blog knows me or of me base on different means, through different social networks, ecetera. I admit that I was everywhere this year, although I did mention that this year would be dedicated to me dealing with certain issues, ecetera. I displayed and/or touched on some of my interest and I appreciate those who took part in this blog, giving me feedback rather it was directly posted to this site or communicated to me via other means that I have provided. In the beginning of this project I stated that I will recognize certain people along the way who have played some form of role in my life that have influenced me for the better this year rather they done so intentionally or not. 

I want to take time out now to bring forth recognition to a few people who are highly embedded in social networking and are young entreprenuers and will like for you to support them as well.

Shantell "Zues" Wilson ......

a promoter, a chef, a writer , and many more

Want to keep track of what he has to offer as a promoter and more: befriend him on facebook; http://www.twitter.com/zuesoner; like his facebook promotional page: Party Entertainment Group (PEG); checkout his independent business owner: website ACN  if you need personal services for internet, tv, cell phone service, and much more! The one who introduced me to blogger - check him out right here on blogger: Zues World

Karmyne Monet ...........

a writer, a model, an inspiring tv personality, and many more

The social networking industry is her world and she is dedicated and gaining control of it: befriend her on facebook and http://www.twitter.com/LaunaKMonet. She is a writer, a model, and many more and all of that information is now at your disposal to easily find out. Her blog site gives you a very good idea of who she is and what she is/will accomplish so check her out right here on blogger: Creative Minds Don't Think Alike.

Elcie Nelson  ....... 

founder and CEO of LuxuriCare Spa

As a young entreprenuer she has ventured out into the Spa business where she, and her team, not only cater to you at a luxurious spa but is also willing to come to you wherever you may be. Yes, LuxuriCare Spa is mobile. Like the facebook page: LuxuriCare Mobile Spa and befriend it's promotional team on facebook: Living Care-Free.

 Lik Shots .......

emcee, writer, insipring actor, and many more

See what he has to bring to the table as an entertainer who is conquering the industry through the music world as well as through the acting business. Not only is he in the tv series The Lick, Lik Shots has a story to tell and you can go along for the ride by liking his Facebook Page: LIKSHOTS; http://www.twitter.com/likshots; checking out his website; and befriending him on facebook.

Jean Jabril Joseph .....

a writer, a poet, a promoter, and many more

He is the CEO of  FreedomlandGeasss Entertainment and 9Fanged Promotion and you can see what he has to offer as he venture out into the world as a young philosopher, a web designer, let's just say that you don't want to not know him and that can easily be avoided by befriending him on facebook.

To my supporters.... 

I know there are others who are wondering why I did not list them here

This specific list hold a certain meaning to me, each person with an individual 'thing' that helped me deal with and/or become aware of certain things that I so desperately needed .... as well as many other things. Like I stated plenty of time, whether it is intentionally or not, my life is impacted by all forms of interactions, and all those who I interact with I do not take for granted. I send out much respect to the five listed above for reason they themselves do not know and of course I will not yet share. Just to let you all know, I will even list my enemies here and show appreciation because 'everyone' plays an important role in my life. Those that have been listed above fall in the categories of my family, friends, associates, co-workers, business partners, motivators, and many more (5 names, a tone of categories, don't attempt to do the math). But like I stated, I will give recognition to everyone along the way, these five just so happen to be on the top of my list this year for multiple/different rather it be major or minor reasons. Send your support towards them and continue to support me on my journey for I truly appreciate and am grateful for all of you. 

A.I.T.T.U.M. [As I Try To Understand Me]

...... is deeper than the title itself. Understanding oneself is allowing oneself to be themself unlimitedly and to attempt and conquer all thought that can be put into action. AITTUM is dealing with the journey of reaching all set goals even as you gain more on the way, no matter what stands in your way. As I Try To Understand Me is reaching for the stars, gazing into the monlight, overcoming obstacles, reaching your goals, becoming succesful, keeping in mind that you are your own man, this is your life, your dream, time to obtain that destiny. AITTUM is whatever you choose it to be, as long as it hold some form of meaning to you whether it be positive or negative.

December marks the one year set date to me joining blogger
and from this post on AITTUM will be AITTUM .....
let it be known .... I am .... Krai Kill .... "Tha Unknown"

Much Respect

Krai ft/ Einstein (Response)

[Albert Einstein] - " Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death." / "But to me Death is only when the spirit's no longer bounded to the flesh ... from there more knowledge I will continue to collect ... forever yearning to be learning ... a sensation that exceeds any formation as the Ultimate Novation ... Life has been proclaimed to us all ... made and set forth Eternal ... spoken words from the Soul of Thy Journal ... to breathe it ... suspend it ... apprehended within it ... it's just a Time felt path ... commence to it ... I cherish it ... never cease to proceed pass the Wall of Humanity ...  forever bounded spiritually....  to gain and rise above it all intellectually." - [Krai]

Living in The Shadows (1.1)

k-oz in the air
everyone screams
as she walked - she never dreamt this to be
before she was even able to make that final step
from the sidewalk unto the street
crossing it was the goal that she wanted to meet
he jumped the curb
the impact was intense
in the air she went
amongst the car she slammed
the smell of rubber travelled throughout the air
the screeching sound - man could not bare
he slammed the breaks
she rolled off and landed on the pavement
what more can be said
by-standers came running to the scene
oh my oh my they couldn't believe what their eyes had just seen
a lady withchild
third trimester
how on earth can they have both survive
the neighborhood is at an uproar
phone calls are being made
sirens everywhere
yellow tape
people couldn't bare to watch
at the train track
right around 71st up to be exact
how can he continue on with the thought of what just went down
body bag is being placed
why on earth did she have to go out today
school sign-up for her other child
a mother of three who blossomed within her another seed
now being taken away
no form of vital been displayed
straight to JMH
time to operate
yes
she was pronouced dead

Hear me Shout it

Heavenly United ..... Side by side with the Most High I ride ....

Spiritually Guided .... Swallow my pride as I rise, being taught by the Wise ...

Profoundly Rounded .... Captivating by nature, proclaiming the art of my Savior, retreating to the secrete home of my mental .....

Selectively Ignited.... As I display my ways, always having faith, rerouting the mindplays of those who share my gaze ........

Eternally binded ... Soulfully to Him I give praise, always questioning but of me He has faith, foreva Sai Nai and Krai, continue to lead my day, obstruct the vision of my hatred way, blindfold and mindclog the cause of my evil thought as to You I rejoice with my voice in the most nonsecular manner ....

Infinitely Grounded ...Deep within I continue to sing, I thank You, I praise You, prayer sunt only to You, blissful nights set forth by the Conqueror, the Great Knight ...

Amongst men I ran, by You I stand, Your presence remain in demand and so I seal these thoughts with an honourable Amen.

Pause ....

U hear the rhythm ... U hear the beat .... Now stop interupting and actually listen to the words I speak ....

Who Art Thou

Who art thou to inform I of who I am if I myself cannot determine the outcomes in life for which by I must be sought out? Stand down from this urge to help me reach my goal, for my goals are only known to the ever so tender rhythm of my soul. Shan't I be given the opportunity to live a life in misery, to dance in the rain and be destroyed by the storm? Shan't I be able to look amongst men and be tempted to shout that I've too overcame? T'was nights when my head would be among pillows and tears will drizzle down my cheecks bearing silent whispers of crying screams, for deep within me I believed I was not meant to be. Shan't I be given the opportunity to live a life of destruction, to sit in the mirror years ahead only to bring forth recollection of years that have already fade and with the power that lives beyond my flesh - scream through the top of my lungs that I have been bless. Who art thou to try to protect me from the lessons that I so desperately seek? Allow me to be me, for to me it is the only way to learn that by all means I am in fact a WELL MADE QUEEN ......

ENC 1101

Let's Regroup
original post date

8/26/11

Here’s something to think about

This weeks lesson - - air and are

Why is stair (when talking about using your eyes) is spelled stare

 But when it is pronounced and read <<(red)>>

 it says star   <<<<(st –are)>>>>

Well – that’s at least based on what we know about reading the word ‘are’ and the word ‘air’

When it comes to air and are the same goes for the word bare that sounds like bear which is sad because the word bear really says beer based on the word ‘ear’

if we really just go based on sounding things out

And bare really says bar <<<considering when it is sounded out b-are>>>

And bear is sounded out as bair <<<<considering what we were told it truly spells >>>>

Next week lesson -   -  -ead

Read as in red such as head and dead and lead <<(as in led)>>

Which can be confused by the word read such as bead and lead which is pronounced based on heed and deed

It’s all elementary my dere <<based on mere>>

 or is it deer,

no -

I know for a fact it’s dear

It’s sad because I can go on and on and on – especially for and early childhood educatior.

I have to teach exactly what I believe is so stupid and contradicting yet the challenge and the way in which the mind has learned to transmit it and retain it is an art all of it own and I for one am into all aspects of the arts

What is so great about this is that although it is contradicting and may seem overwhelming and confusing, all of this is mastered by the tender age of six and only freshened up and strengthen no later than the following year. Do not under-estimate the mind of the young. Taught and guided right, they will blow you out of sight.

Love

Let's Regroup
original post date

5/11/11

“The experience of love is the same, what changes are our preferences.” ~ Author Unknown

Love is defined as ...... a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness


Is love a concept, feeling or action  .... that's what I was thinking when I first decided to look up the  definition. We tend to use the word very often. I for one do not really go around telling people I love them. When it comes to my feelings towards others, more than likely if they tell me that they love me, I will not repeat it. I may say that I got love 'for' you ... but to say that I love you, there must be some form of overlying issue. We tend to fall in love with characters from a book, we tend to fall in love with music, we tend to say we love what we seen or what we heard. I know when I use the term love .. which ever way it is that I use it ... it is because I feel some sort of connection, not that regualr form of realtionship connection (rather it be romanitic or friendship wise etc). Saying I love you or I got love for you, you must have displayed some sort of bond with me (rather it is known to you or not).

Love is a concept that brings forth certain feelings that may be displayed through ones action.

this is obviously one of the unfinished post ... but you catch the drift .... you tell me ... what is love, when and how do you use it ......

The 'Yo' Conversation

Let's Regroup
original post date

6/14/11

Krai
yo 

J
yo
Krai
whuts good wit u ... and yes... i am and will be writing using slang terminologies
J
Writing and yes... I would suspect anything less.
~ mean wouldn't

Convo (1)

Let's Regroup
original post date

3/27/11

Me:  Death is a bitch...
He:   ....And Eternal life is her pimp
She:  she takes away your dick and runs like fuck
Me:  Time is the drug....
He:   .....overtime is an overdose
He:   Bring em on
Me:  Sleep only exist
He:   Dreams of waking up
Me:   ...........

no matter how it comes....i always dream about waking up.....foreva does it seems like im running out of breath......hear souls around me screaming there's no help......fuck it - Sleep only exist for those who ain't bout shit.....ain't tryn...a put in work, overdose, not on this turf...Time is a drug, tryna pull me into the outerworld.....but imma stand strong, bounded to earth, above it, as my only home....I swear Death is a bitch, creep up on yah, put it on yah....then take away your dick and run like fuck....Life ain't shit till it comes to an end.....existing in realms that been withheld from men...among Angels and Demons who's foreva breathing....i'm foreva dead yet alive...then you realize you got tha best of both world....no way out, foreva alive....been pimped out by Eternal Life.....

A Moment to Cry Out

Let's Regroup
original post date

5/2/11

Tell me what it is that i'm suppose to feel. Tell me what it is that i'm suppose to hear. Tell me what is it that i'm doing here. Tell me why is it that I feel the way I feel. This cant be real. This cant be true. Listen to when the fuck I cry out to you. .....'Listen To My Cry'......

~ Random Thoughts !!!!!

Let's Regroup
original post date

3/13/11

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1
many wonders, many pains, as i try to envision the life I dreamt
to finally take a stand, without lending hands
break free from the world.....as it's the sky i'm willing to explore
mind, body, and soul....no longer bound to the earth
this is the step....of a young SOULjahs rebirth

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2

"My mistakes don't define me They dont dictate where I'm goin They remind me that time keeps tickin let my mind keep clickn never stop thinkn Bein aware of my decisions" ~ T.I.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3

never mind the pain nor the sins i gained
only take heed to the voices in me
no longer will I be afraid to combat the emotion of hate
lost my path as tried to fit in with the ways of life
this is not me...I'd rather be a conspiracy
...Question all that can and can't breathe
Fell back by the ways of man...I'm greater than that

Can no longer walk among the living dead....the closed minded heads
No longer will I continue to fade away
I'm as nuetral as i can...welcome the universe with open hand
Believe what i say...from this day ..... foreva and always
...This is Krai....full of rejoice.....I'm pround to say
I've be "Born Again"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 4

God works in mysterious ways.....the only problem is .... i dont know what exactly he's tryna say......my subconcious aint allowing me to comprehend the play.....i'm getting hit harder everyday.......placed situations in positions that can work for or against me......i need to dig harder...but i'm pissed cause i dont know which way to lead

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5

I am so exhausted......yet today i accomplished nothig......nothing to be proud of since i covered less grounds.....I'm slipping and i gotta step in line........neva eva in my life time .......has i hit bottom ground.....this shit is history.......yet i will not proclaim it defeat......i thought i was spiritually at ease........then i realize....i was welcoming the 'deviL' deed.....i feed off hate...that may be the case......but lately i drited away ....... cause it has neva been sought out....only gained through fate....so imma step down.....with vengence in my eyes......i know we go head to head ........but this is my "SOULjah Cry".....directed to the Heavenly Father.....the top doG..vice versa..... God.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6

due to the life stuggles...remember to approach things through 'novel'. let is be known that at times shit get hethic. but you will embrace it as the ultmate praise. the balttle within is not to be look upon as sign of a lack of strenght. i... stand before you not yet ready to repent. i am hurt in so many ways yet know not the case. one love, one, strenght, one God....yet i question you to the point of no recal....as i lay my head down to rest. i am please....yet angry....for i have lack to succeed. this ia the battle within me that i am yet to defeat...today i am a mummy and that why i am no longer on my feet..."listen to my cry - sir'...this is "A Cry of a SOULjah" ....directed to the Heavenly Father....and the top doG...vice versa....God

.....Shit.....

Let's Regroup
original post date

2/22/11

Shit I did it again.....invite wise.....one i like .....the other i'm wondering why.....don't come at me differently.....and this is sent out to my friends (and I'm not talking 'bout Webster wise)....you know who u are ....cause around you i don't roam or chatter about.. What is a friend...short simple meaning without getting into details....enemies that lies within....lay round for the full blown version ...(Krai Kill mind wise)....was planning on removing the 'vite but fuck it imma continnue to write......whether u like it or not...do me a favor and just fuck off.....hatred is in the air....naw ...just keeping it real and i'm not tryna sent sc'air'.......say what you gotta but fuck that gossiping shit...i love it as i live...i'm me and imma always do me....in defense mode..hell yeah...you just don't know....this was a different kind of introduction to those who just don't know...if you're surprise when you're reading this...more likely...you're the friend (Krai wise)i'm refering to...cause all else would say ...yeah ...i been knew you do you..and don't get it confuse.....if you got sumthing to say...go head and post it.....anger don't quickly come my way....cause only loves one could hurt me in such strong ways....and trust...from me ....luv's not easily spread....if i hold you down conversation wise...then you know we good on the grind....all else...i really don't give a fuck if you fall behind.....once again...it is what it is...now tell me...am i'm wrong for telling you this....shit.....just don't look into it

Please Kill Me

Let's Regroup
original post date

2/3/11

© (with no permission to copy or make reference to)

This is the intro/prayer to one of my song/lyrics ....Please Kill Me
"I understand that pain is common in a man - but now my pleading stand - put me back on the land as being nothing but sand - I'm no longer here posted on my legs - instead I'm on my knees you could hear me beg - this is no longer the place for me - so heavenly father - please kill me"

War (pt1)

Let's Regroup
original post date

2/19/11

We are who we are
Yet I understand who I fail to become
Under the shining moon the stars and the sun
Foreva and always - I will be one

Why Play (pt.1)

Let's Regroup
original post date

2/3/11

Lately I've been playing games with everyone around me as well as this thing here
Avoiding what it is that I am trying to accomplish

So many people get to me, not that many understand
I try to step back but am begging for a lending hand
I feel alone in this world although I could be surrounded by family and friends
I lie to myself, mess with others, just to pretend
At times I want to overcome it but the truth is I can't
See, in a way I like me but am afraid of the part that don't seem sane
I'm alienated from the world, that's suppose to be a problem, but not to me
At times I rather be alone and I don't know why that be

.......... don't look into it

Let's Regroup
original post date

1/8/11

I must say that it is funny how one is really flirtatious. Is it wrong to be attractive to someone, flirt away, yet know that you do not have any attention whatsoever to be with that person? What if in the beginning you told the person that you were not interested, then later on start giving signals that make it seems as if you were interested, because in a way you were? Could it be that you're just telling yourself that you are not really interested to protect yourself? What if you just naturally flirt and you do not do it on purpose, does that mean you're wrong because you are playing with that person emotion? What if the person knows, sense it, and play along with it? Huh, we're all guilty of this, knows this, yet we still do it? Why is that?

.......I tend to be random....these two don't fully relate.......

So I see you from time to time, don't know why I allow you to cross my mind
Maybe it's because I know that in a way I love your state of mind
I kinda hate it only because I'm wlling to face it
Caught the urge to say I'm Me- and that's when I realize it was more than what it seemed to be
Comfortable to talk to you - actually willing to let you know me - the true
Don't really like interlocking eyes - but staring into yours just send me through the skies
Put a smile on my face no matter what my state - love looking your way - catching gaze
Be zone in for a minute- then I smile and face down - say you a trip - only because I can't believe what I'm facing inside
Sometimes I can't even look your way - trying to avoid having you run through my head
I know I'm a trip cuz here I am spilling it out
What can I say - I'm attracted to you - but in that sense don't want it to play out
Shit - this some shit - love flirting your way - but friend wise - webster style - we should remain tight
So deeply into you cause of you - but to a different level
Love your presence, it spiritually embodies my soul, your friendship is one thing I don't want to have revoke
Gotta respect that - but gotta keep it true - hey I'm into you - then again - you already knew that too


This is a little touchy touchy, I don't do that sensitive emotional stuff, just wanted ya;ll to see me when I attmpt to do so.  "Don't look into it" is what I always say. And like I said I'm coming at you on a Friendship tip with Much Respect.

Let's Regroup: message

Why am I putting this up ...... for one ... it is my site and I can ..... two ... I just felt like sharing ..... three .... I don't mind ya'll knowing  ..... four .....

So if you've been keeping up with this blog you will have realized that a few post goes up and then goes down, page setting changes from this to that.  To tell you all the truth, I have been playing around with this blog just to see what I can put in and so forth. If you have access to any of my other sites as well as groups that I am affiliated with, you will see that my presence haven't been there and if it is, it's still isn't all there. I am planning on coming at 2012 differently.

November will have a tone of post posted especially for the first 7 days: those that didn't make the cut the first time around and those that kinda went up then down, mainly cause of the underlying darkness that lies behind it. Thoughts that were incompleted will be set forth. See where my mind tend to travel. November will be the release of thoughts at all angels. But like I stated, 2011 was/is just a rough draft, the beginning (introduction) to whatever it is I am doing. Let's see how things go for the remaining of the year. December marks my one year on blogger and January will start something else. I do not know what is in store for next year but I do know that it will be something, so let's regroup ..... stay with me and I appreciate it.

Carry On

I never felt so much pain in my life like the one I’m feeling right now
I feel lost, betrayed, hurt, so many things in one
I aint shed so many tears in so long
How could he do me so wrong
To just up and leave and be gone
Love give me the strength to carry on strong

Spread the news far beyond the mountain plains
Let them know that I’m in search of a way to better understand
Tired of the thoughts that keeps me up at night
To loose you .. to have you ... I’m so damn confuse
My mental is drafting up one hell of a picture
I struggle with the concepts of our last fight, can’t stand to be without -cha
None-the-less I must remember that – it – is – for the best
The misuse that was brought upon me through all the abuse
I lay my head on the pillows at night still wishing that I was with - you
Reading old love letters , thought shit would get better
Thinking we were slightly lost in this stormy ass weather
Looking up high, asking myself why, still living in denial
Time to face the image in the mirror – hear a thumping getting nearer
The rhythm to that organ in my chest – boomboom – I feel yah

I never felt so much pain in my life like the one I’m feeling right now
I feel lost, betrayed, hurt, so many things in one
I aint shed so many tears in so long
How could he do me so wrong
To just up and leave and be gone
Love give me the strength to carry on strong

No longer thinking twice, can’t say I’m steady having doubts

Ghagged the words straight up out of my mouth

Young souljah from where they call the dirty dirty south

They come and they go, must learn to never loose control

To say I was dedicated like a troll, rub my tummy, let the truth be told

I never felt so much pain in my life like the one I’m feeling right now
So I drop to my knees, it’s been a long time since I officially bowed down
I feel lost, betrayed, hurt, so many things in one
Looking up to the sky, screaming why
I thought for shit like this – by you - [ sunt ] down - ur only begotten son
I aint shed so many tears in so long
Hiding behind this shield trying to stand strong
Forgetting that “Tha Unknown” neva stands alone
How could he do me so wrong, then I sit back and listen to my own song
Taking heed to this , should’ve neva rode out to this
Swift justice is bliss, all the pain have been dismissed
The Ultimate One caused him to just up and leave and be gone
Lord - gave me the strength to carry on strong

Empowered through Faith

"With mornings filled with new beginnings and moonlit skies to wish and dream upon …. may the power of faith and the strength of hope always be there to light your way …." ~ Author Unknown

Become Aware ... Support

The "5"enses

EMOTIONALLY ... PHYSICALLY ... MENTALLY ... VERBALLY ... SEXUALLY

RISE ABOVE IT ALL

"She watched as they yelled and as they hit ... she watched her childhood fading ... she wandered when a light would be lit ... and God would decide she was worth  saving ... already they yanked from her little escape ... and hurt her with more than just words ....abuse plagued the angel God loved the most .... but accidently sent down to earth " ~ Author Unknown

I am not here to tell you how to live your life nor am I here to pretend as if everything is alright. I see the child, I heard the children, I watch them as they walk, I listen to them as they speak. The way they talk, they way they play, it's all about how they behave. Hold up, wait, if it was so easily noticed through display, why have you not taken a stand and help them be brave. Protect the young, we must remain strong. I do not blame you nor do I blame myself, it is not this type of life one would chose, a state where one is left lost and confuse. Protect the young, help the young, give strentgh to those who unnoticably failed to protect the young.

Give me strength to overcome such ways. Stand beside me as I start to loose my way. Do not hesitate to take my hand in attempt to drive me away, away from such misuse. Everything happens for a reason. Build strentgh within yourself and do not allow this to hinder you. Rise above it is what I like to shout. You are a survivor, which means you are strong and have the strength to carry on. Stand before your opponenet and shout you will not be defeated. You stood then, you stand now, no matter how many times you been striked down ... keep in mind ... at this moment u still stand. You still have a chance. Come my friend. No looking back. Hand in hand.

The videos and context that follows are mainly in consideration to the children of DV.

I think these videos are really powerful and send a really good message.

Pink and Purple Nationwide Showcase

We tend to get caught up with the way of life. We tend to throw away all of the bad memories in hope to continue on with a perfectly normal life. We tend to forget about those who are around us that may be in need of our help. We tend to forget the term 'what if that was me.' We tend to forget a lot of things if it does not directly impact us. We tend to forget a lot of things hoping to get rid of the traumatic memories because it 'do' directly impact us. One way or the other the end result is to forget. Well, lets not forget and let's support the National Breast Cancer and Domestic Violence Awareness month this October by supporting many outlets dedicated to it. Let's at least start somewhere by rocking the pink and the purple ribbon. My blog will also be dedicated to this and this only during that month, along with my Facebook (NJ). Men, keep in mind that male fall victim to BC and DV as well, so help by showing your support. Pink and Purple Ribbon .... Show that you are aware. Pink and Purple Ribbon Nationwide Showcase - Join the Event

Knowledge isn't gained by Wealth

 They say it is wealth that provides the resources. My wealth is found in the creativity that flourishes within me. To have given life to such creatures and deny them opportunity, I will not stand for it. I will not allow it. My child will succeed. My child will be somebody, far above mediocre.

 At nineteen with a child beside me, set aside my dreams. No! See my dreams carried out through my seeds. No money like the grandeurs. But capable to have eyes illuminu[er]. To the prince I read at birth, at months, at one. We were street walkers, always street walkers. I was proud of mines, never shy to say - brother, cousin - no - he is mine. Parade the prince where ever man can reach. I was blinded to the world but these 10 blocks square was his world. Stumbled as he proceeded yet I allowed him to be free, stopping every inch of the way to question what earth had to display. Standing in front of the neighbor house, for he was amaze our mail box did not look like theirs. Questions were asked, so for the next few minutes our lesson was in play. Walk the neighborhood to see what type of mailbox lies within the way. And so he learned, things may be called the same by name but may also come in so many different forms. Attracted to the leaves, so we continue along discussing the color green, even as we enter our home and he sits on his thrown only to be given a piece of paper that was cleared on the back, for my syllabus would now be taken with me to class with the drafted creativity by my seed. Everything I earned while artistically creating with the loose strings found on our dome - went and was spunt always for my son. Rows of books, delivered my mail. More then three times a day, never went to bed without embedding 5 stories in his head. Flash cards, yet the boy still ran wild. Never took away the kid in him, but never allow the knowledge to fade in him. Monetary issues, I was not of the wealthy to purchase such luxury and so I ventured out to the library, at only just one, the library was what he called home. Certain stores sold books that still held intellectual quality for just one leaf. Over thirty books, each worth less than a two dollar bill. Keyboards, drums, guitar, yes I support the arts. Toys, vehicles, teddy bears, blocks. Bike, scooter, skates, a board, hold up ,no, no, refused to get the pogo. Instruments destroyed and replaced, now with harmonica, recorder, more books, puzzle, worksheets, both ranging at various age levels just to satisfy my seed(s). Two or more of everything when it comes to certain things, especially outside stuffs, always outside stuffs. My princess is like a little dream, craving intellect more than we can believe. I never intiated the art of reading, but she always sat on my lap as I read to the prince, and so I guess for her, her imagination too was being explored. Read to me read to me, she will scream, she will fuss, reading to her is a must. She won’t ask, she will find, she has to write, she has to learn. Flash cards she will take, don’t allow it, for you it will be a huge mistake. Questions, always asking question. Television, not a habit, only used sprangily, just to relax in it. She knows her status, she is high, she is bright, she’s a beauty, she’s a princess. She is the formation of the creation of a building progression of intellect. And so I wake to see so much greatness that has been made. They are abundant, my pockets are minimal, no where near those of the elite, yet I still manage and my seeds were provided with such educational equality.

Dark Child (1.1)

Post that complement this post

Dark Child (Prologue)

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I remember laying in the hospital bed. There was so much going on around me and I kept zoning in and out. The nurse was talking to someone, a man. This someone I later found out was representing me, but that was weeks after today. After the nurse left the room, he stayed and stood by the door just watching me. More like staring at me. I didn't like it, not for one bit. It made me so uncomfortable. Everytime I looked at him I started having these heavy breathing. I felt hot and trapped. I was getting frustrated for nothing. I hated this feeling. Hatred grew within me and I started to stare at him as if my eyes could have delivered the act of death upon him. I was full of fear, hatred, frustration. I couldn't breathe. I passed out.
My parents were in the room. They looked so disappointed, so angry, unfortunately, I read no sign of hurt or guilt. I didn't care. I was so happy to see them, so happy to see a familiar face. What I've just experienced was far more cruel than anything they ever put me through. All I wanted to do was go home. Yet something made me freeze. The way they looked at me, as if they were ashame. I didn't understand what just took place. I was so confuse, I was so hurt, I was terrified, I was in pain. I try to move and all of a suddenly I started to bleed. I screamed, I cried, I yelled mom. It hurted. My body ached. My vagina. The uncontrollable pain that I felt from my vagina and my lower abdomen. I got off the bed, I hardly could walk, and I was stumbling towards my parents. I cried. There was so much blood. For the first time I saw pity in the eyes of my mother. Tears ran down her cheeks as she yelled to me to stop walking, to stay where I was. She rushed over to me. She didn't care as she lifted me and told me everything would be alright.

Perseverance

 I do not reach for the stars, I gaze towards the moon. I do not follow the road, I set my own path. I do not swim in the river, I transcribe my soul within the stream. Pebbles of rocks strengthen itself, forming boulders and stepping stones as it acknowledge the majestic being that lies within me. Behold the words of a well made Queen. The wounds have been healed at the very moment in which it was created. Come a little closer, do not be afraid. Fear is what one may assume is being imposed, but I hold the key to the Ultimate Soul. Rise above it all as I continue to prosper and answer Life’s call. Delicately woven into such a creation that is divinely empowered to persevere. The whips may bruise but it cannot shatter the spirits of the high.

Listen to the air, it whistles to the stars. Engulf yourself, be one with the wind and allow it to dance the rhythm of life around you.  Shhh, be the moment, control your surroundings. Man may come forth, declare challenge upon me. I laugh at the call for I cannot be tamed. I am a perfected creature of the wild and so I exclaimed and shouted to the world and my cry trembled throughout the universe. I stand before you not as the one who endured hardship and struggled. Rather as one who faced the rage of the beast and shouted out victory for I am not of man who summon to defeat.

The Faceless

The post is basically a response to a poem entitled The Faceless which was written by an unknown artist who I believe goes by the name Jemma. The part that is written in bold red italic font hugging the left side of the page - is the original poem. Personally, I feel as the bolded font should be read first - all at once - skipping over the regular font, just to get a feel of how strong the passage is. I would then go back and read the whole entire passage (original/response) together as a whole just as it is presented. I am considering this version as a self held conversation with oneself (individual is talking to themself) in order to get some form of clarification and strength as to what has taken place, is taking place, and will be taking place. It is written with regard towards domestic violence.

Is there help for the faceless ones
Or are they so cold and condemned
To the light of a dying star
That they're begging for the pain
Wanting to feel they should be ashamed
So they could believe they deserve their fate?
The fallen ones
The ones who won't come home

Tha Hood's 'Sleep (Prologue)

Man, can't you hear the k-oz in the air. I'm not even gonna lie to you but the block is live. Everywhere I turn I see somebody doing and/or getting into something. Even when the atmosphere is crazy, you still could get that crunk, party, chilling type of vibe. It blows my mind though on how these fools could be tense and on edge yet still have a good time.

How in the hell I just passed these boys getting harrased by the cops and they gonna meet up with me at the park and try to counsel me.
"What's good 'Ma."
"It ain't nothing,  just maxing."
"Yeah, I feel you. You see that little shit that I got myself into, I saw how you looked at me when you walked by."
"Look it here man, I know how you get down. By the way, I don't see that shit. You ain't never disrespect me so we good."
"What you doing out here by yourself and looking like you wanna catch a case? Hold up, you good?"
So a couple more of his nigga joined. Conversation got redirected and was no longer geared towards me. I just sunk into the atmosphere, I needed that. I never told my peoples fuck it and just walk away. But I was so heated and about to lose my mind. Meeting up with these fool at the park actually helped ease my mind.

Dark Child (Prologue)

Sleep was okay today and yesterday wasn't that bad. I'm just so happy today's Monday. I'm so happy to be going to school. You just don't understand, I'm so hungry. I didn't expect school to be like this. I dont really fit in. Technically they said I was supposed to be five to start Kindergarten, so my father lied because I was only four.

< pause and thought to myself ... seriously, as if they dont have all the paper work for the next school year and if I'm turning five this summer they would still allow me to participate in summer school ... but whatever .. test my intelligence>

The summer was a hot summer like always, for some reason my household conditions got worst I wondered if I really was their birth child. Summer came and went, regular school started. Was placed in honors then removed for not enough space. Started given trouble in my regular class, wasn't being challenged. Use to tell the teacher I was smarter, I lead the class at times, just losing interest, my parents didn't know how to deal with me .... so the abuse, neglect took it turn for the worst.

Respect

Respect ..... how do one receive it, how do one give it, when should one give it, and how should one react when they do not receive it ..... ..does maintaining respect to those who disrespect you is in a way you disrespecting yourself for continuing to tolerate the disrespect

Respect is defined as
1. To recognize the worth, quality, importance, or magnitude of
2. A feeling of deference, approval, and liking
3. Willingness to show consideration or appreciation.

Mind Games

Why is it that we, as in peopl continue to play mind games with ouselves?  We know what it is that we want yet we are cautious about the respond that may be given. So we attempt to come at the situation with such a strategic approach that only leaves oneself with more sense of hesitation because we are the only one playing the game in which two people are supposedly a part of. Confide in me then I'll confide in you. If both party is waiting on the next person to make the first move, opportunity will obviously pass them by. Yet they are aware of this and still refuse to take the necessary actions. Or is it that they hope that their thought will change and they can continue on without ever having to touch on the idea? Yet they both sort of know what the other is thinking, how the other feels, they both are hoping that they can brush off what's at hand, so why not just address the situation and find true closure. Is it because the dream is more controllable than reality although the dream is an extension of their reality......

 

 

The Road To Wisdom (intro)

As I talk to the souls around me, I am please to know that others are as cautious as me. For the concious mind is the one that's paranoid.......yet free to gain knowledge as it please.
  
SOUL 
Spiritually Obtained Universal Life

CAUTIOUS   
Carefully Analyzing Until Thoughts Infer On Undetermined Situations

CONCIOUS
Conducting Ongoing Nuerological Cases Including Our Unified State

MIND  
Mentally Induced Nonetheless Determined

PARANOID
Psychologically  At Risk Assuming Nomadics Opposition Isn't Death 

KNOWLEDGE
Knowing Nothing Ommit Will - Learning'sEverlasting -  Deeply Guided - Eternal
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

The Ultimate Fear

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

~Nelson Mandela 94'

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A Battle Within

God works in mysterious ways.....the only problem is .... i dont know what exactly he's tryna say......my subconcious aint allowing me to comprehend the play.....i'm getting hit harder everyday.......placed situations in positions that can work for or against me......i need to dig harder...but i'm pissed cause i dont know which way to lead

 

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Why is it that we tend to battle ourselve. Its hard sometime to make choices because we are so afraid of what the outcome may be. Man biggest fear is failure and so to avoid it we chose not to try at all. Sacrifices is something that everybody must make...yet we we tend to take small steps which at times bring forth nothing at all. At times we even try to reamin nuetral, taking from both side just to get a feel of it. We tend to know deep inside the path that must be taken..yet at the same time question rather or not we're making the right decision. There's nothing wrong with talking to yourself and questioning....the problem comes forth when you refuse to listen to your innerself

 

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I'm actually battling with myself because I've been placed in a situation where i must think and react critically.....lately I've been placed in situation where my prayers can de answered...the only proble is that it is not happening directly.....its happen indirectly where if i follow through it will be done. The problem is .... i do not want it done through me....rather through the natural forces of the universe

 

Still Am

Although I may come off as being a certain way, i am not here to portray the 'positive' side of me, rather the battle found within in. My anger at times may be harsh, my thoughts at times my be deep, my heart - slightly mellow - it is those that on this page I speak. Do not misinterpret the type of life i lead. This is only a glimpse..mind you i only allow you to see what i want you to see. By what you read, i may be weird, a psycho, a freak...but believe i had my fair share of the world and at this very moment is battling peace. i am one with myself yet am trying to soar beyond the plains. Yes, I do have family and friends. I tend to write in between the lines..certain post are meant for a specific eye. I attempt to do 'Me' as best as i could....but one thing i will always do right is 'I' cause that's infact the person that guides my life. i may seem like 'Me'..to satify man and remain at ease. But I will always be 'I' because its embedded in me. I had to clarify that other than these postings, i do enjoy differents forms of life. I consider myself a lost child, not due to failure (which i never proclaimed) in lfe. But a lost child beacuse i have not yet taken the ultimate flight.

Bitch - I'm Me

So it seems like time is on a mission – fucking with me – yet it’s no competition

As things seems to be - yet the truth only proves to not be reality

Who would’ve thought that life would be conducted with such false aim

Haters only pretend – bitches live in vain – true souljahs demand – and so I stand up and sing

With my eyes wide – and my grip tight – say it – I won’t – but I might – cause when the sights in the light – I’m quick to take a bite – insured – gracefully done with all my mite

You live and you learn – lesson only won – if more money is earned – so I sit here and yearn – cause I refuse to get burn – folly come at me in return – leave bitches on the run

Heart of sorrow – I have none – eternally born – pitied upon – I rather be done

As life propelled – I showed nothing but hell – intensified – yet glorified

As I look deeply in the eyes of my reflections near by - I waved it – but I praised it – as I gazed it – fuck it - I hate it – but refuse to unsave it – so I ate it

I ate it whole - devour the bitch up – caught a nut – as my cherry got bust – a reborn virgin – I do it over and over again – as if it was just another occasion

Looking in the mirror – surprise time and time again  -  at who it is that I be - that I see

No Remorse

I  know as some people may read this you may think...yeah right...what is she writing...she don't seem like she's going thru anything (correct, i'm Me) ---- So if you're not going thru anything..what is all this that you're writing.....once again it's a 100% tru yet Me..... See that's the thing...i'm complicated yet easy to follow....by just letting Me be...............saw one of my webster definition of friends today....been a minute.....needed that...u gotta understand..simplicity.......means so much to me....and once again...that's what makes me Me.....what's great about it is that simplicity recognize simplicity...much respect to all my simplicifiers.........

No Need to Blink

Damn Lord please help me right now
I'm hurting so bad to the point where I know not where I stand
Fuck, fuck, fuck  -----apprehend
I made a decision today and I don't know if I came on to strong
I'm contemplating hard which is something wrong

Death! Why not now?

Death – is that suppose to mean anything - are we suppose to look at it as some form of higher being. Why are we so afraid of it – is it not known that no matter what – it will eventually be carried out – so why not now?

Usually when good things start to happen to us, we wish that life goes on

Yet when things go wrong and our world seems upside down, we wish for it (life) to come to an end.

Are we not looking at it the wrong way? Don’t we usually want to die after we have accomplished all of our dreams, not when we have seen all of our dreams crumble?

So why not ask for death once everything in your life has added up. Why not ask for it when you are happy so that you can truly say that you have left this place happy and accomplished. Why wait for the time in which you are depressed and you feel as if there’s no hope?

Committing suicide is viewed as being wrong. Having been a victim of a homicide is considered tragic. Homicide is defined as having your life taken away without choice. Usually when one die, they do not choose to (natural causes), so are they not victims of homicide (since it was not by choice). Why not take hold of our own destiny and be suicidal. We all know how we want to die, and we all at least want it to be when we are at our most happiest. So the question remains, when good things are present, why not die now?

I AM NOT PROMOTING THE ACT OF SUICIDE

My Own

Time has no hold but life is bold so I come forth to speak what must be told b4 death even attempts to take its toll- at the moment shits may seem lost but the fact still remains- I'm my own muthaluvin boss

It Feels Good

You know what feels great, when you can finally connect with someone. No I'm not talking about on the relationship tip, but being able to connect with the person on a totally different level. I realize that over the years opportunity came and opportunity went. Well not exactly. Opportunity was present if I wanted to have a taste yet that was not fully on my mind since everything I do is just a 'hobby'. I see opportunity's present again yet I don't know how to come at it but I'm coming.

COINCIDE

what does it really means

????????????

Fear (pt.1)

Someone recently wrote about how they observed while they was on a plane, an old man showing a sign of fear and a child laughing. (hence my outlook in 'Life, Time, Death') she wanted to know why the man who already lived and enjoyed life is so afraid of dying.

Why do we fear  ...........we fear because .....we Feel Everything's At Risk

 We show fear because we know what we have and therefore know what we can loose and know how hard it is to gain and how it is to cope without

We fear beacuse we know .....we all have our fears .... because we all know 'something'

Quote

I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery then live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.


- Author
- Henry Emerson Federeck

Stay K'nected

Different settings .... different zones. No matter what, I will always be me but my personality is surprisingly unique. Just check me out through different social outlets. Come at me which ever way makes you more comfortable through the links below.

I am
 Krai Kill "Tha Unknown"

K'nect-n thru different zones 

Get at me on FACEBOOK
Follow me on Facebook .... Message me through Facebook .....


Take a minute and make it more direct and get an instant response .... call and/or text .... my phone is always on deck.


Instant Message 
Need to say what you need to say and just keep it moving.... Have an article or picture or something you want me to see.... Just want to say hi.... However and for whatever you use it for... Just send me an email and get that thought across....

Sit - Type - Chat
What's on your mind .... want others to join in ... Want others to see what's the big idea ... let's just say this chat room is open for all to see unless you want me to remove your comments .... don't hesitate .... get at me .....

Let It Be Known

I Am Krai Kill

"Tha Unknown"

A.I.T.T.U.M.

....And So I Ask Myself

I told myself that I will let a week go by before I write. This is not a dairy but I will release information and writings that has inspired me. I'm still battling with a very important decision (as every decision is important) but I'm actually contemplating this one. I have a friend (webster definition not mine) who lately one can tell is in deep thoughts. So far I'm inching up on Me. I've invited a few people to this page and that's why I'm here. I'm wondering whether that will make a big difference or not, in terms of how I should let my notion flow. I will give that invitation one day to circulate and then I'll erase it. Why? Because although I am here to release myself I do not want to be exploited (at least not in the beginning). I know for a fact that my mind is in the wrong place right now. Why do I say that? Well a friend (Webster's not mine) gave me a book and I read it within a week (more like 2-3 days). That book was later replaced with another one by the same person and  I have not been able to complete it and it been about 2-3 weeks. I need to get spiritually in tune.

Question of the day.....
Why is it that when we know that something is wrong we still accept it hoping for the best?
When  is it alright to have hope and is having faith deadly? (Lightbulb- i promise i will give you guys somethings interesting to read about these)

My Introduction

I will want to tell eveybody thank you so far who have deen engaging in this blog whether it was before today or if it happened after this date, along with everybody else who partake in my life. I also want to deeply give thanx and gratitude to the person that introduced me to blogger.
Growing up - I've always been referred to the nickname Krazy. Till this day it sticks and is where my true identity is based on.