I feel lost, betrayed, hurt, so many things in one
I aint shed so many tears in so long
How could he do me so wrong
To just up and leave and be gone
Love give me the strength to carry on strong
Spread the news far beyond the mountain plains
Let them know that I’m in search of a way to better understand
Tired of the thoughts that keeps me up at night
To loose you .. to have you ... I’m so damn confuse
My mental is drafting up one hell of a picture
I struggle with the concepts of our last fight, can’t stand to be without -cha
None-the-less I must remember that – it – is – for the best
The misuse that was brought upon me through all the abuse
I lay my head on the pillows at night still wishing that I was with - you
Reading old love letters , thought shit would get better
Thinking we were slightly lost in this stormy ass weather
Looking up high, asking myself why, still living in denial
Time to face the image in the mirror – hear a thumping getting nearer
The rhythm to that organ in my chest – boomboom – I feel yah
I never felt so much pain in my life like the one I’m feeling right now
I feel lost, betrayed, hurt, so many things in one
I aint shed so many tears in so long
How could he do me so wrong
To just up and leave and be gone
Love give me the strength to carry on strong
No longer thinking twice, can’t say I’m steady having doubts
Ghagged the words straight up out of my mouth
Young souljah from where they call the dirty dirty south
They come and they go, must learn to never loose control
To say I was dedicated like a troll, rub my tummy, let the truth be told
So I drop to my knees, it’s been a long time since I officially bowed down
I feel lost, betrayed, hurt, so many things in one
Looking up to the sky, screaming why
I thought for shit like this – by you - [ sunt ] down -
I aint shed so many tears in so long
Hiding behind this shield trying to stand strong
Forgetting that “Tha Unknown” neva stands alone
How could he do me so wrong, then I sit back and listen to my own song
Taking heed to this , should’ve neva rode out to this
Swift justice is bliss, all the pain have been dismissed
The Ultimate One caused him to just up and leave and be gone
Lord - gave me the strength to carry on strong
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I will always attempt to depict the mental struggles that the victims go through. To be a victim yet to still be in love with the abuser is a very psychological hold. Love overpowers the pain and leaves fear in the shadow. This ovwerwhelming power is the thin line between life and death. Why do they stay, why do they go back, why do they want to return ...... wow ..... the memory of how it was before allow them to know that their mates have the ability to change but is in a battle that they are struggling very hard to win. The poem above descibes very breifly just that. Her call for help to understand, her search within, and her interaction with the Lord, at the end, caused her to realize that it was grace that pushed him away and with that she was finally strengthen to carry on .........
AITTUM
Rise
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