Why Play (pt.1)

Let's Regroup
original post date

2/3/11

Lately I've been playing games with everyone around me as well as this thing here
Avoiding what it is that I am trying to accomplish

So many people get to me, not that many understand
I try to step back but am begging for a lending hand
I feel alone in this world although I could be surrounded by family and friends
I lie to myself, mess with others, just to pretend
At times I want to overcome it but the truth is I can't
See, in a way I like me but am afraid of the part that don't seem sane
I'm alienated from the world, that's suppose to be a problem, but not to me
At times I rather be alone and I don't know why that be

.......... don't look into it

Let's Regroup
original post date

1/8/11

I must say that it is funny how one is really flirtatious. Is it wrong to be attractive to someone, flirt away, yet know that you do not have any attention whatsoever to be with that person? What if in the beginning you told the person that you were not interested, then later on start giving signals that make it seems as if you were interested, because in a way you were? Could it be that you're just telling yourself that you are not really interested to protect yourself? What if you just naturally flirt and you do not do it on purpose, does that mean you're wrong because you are playing with that person emotion? What if the person knows, sense it, and play along with it? Huh, we're all guilty of this, knows this, yet we still do it? Why is that?

.......I tend to be random....these two don't fully relate.......

So I see you from time to time, don't know why I allow you to cross my mind
Maybe it's because I know that in a way I love your state of mind
I kinda hate it only because I'm wlling to face it
Caught the urge to say I'm Me- and that's when I realize it was more than what it seemed to be
Comfortable to talk to you - actually willing to let you know me - the true
Don't really like interlocking eyes - but staring into yours just send me through the skies
Put a smile on my face no matter what my state - love looking your way - catching gaze
Be zone in for a minute- then I smile and face down - say you a trip - only because I can't believe what I'm facing inside
Sometimes I can't even look your way - trying to avoid having you run through my head
I know I'm a trip cuz here I am spilling it out
What can I say - I'm attracted to you - but in that sense don't want it to play out
Shit - this some shit - love flirting your way - but friend wise - webster style - we should remain tight
So deeply into you cause of you - but to a different level
Love your presence, it spiritually embodies my soul, your friendship is one thing I don't want to have revoke
Gotta respect that - but gotta keep it true - hey I'm into you - then again - you already knew that too


This is a little touchy touchy, I don't do that sensitive emotional stuff, just wanted ya;ll to see me when I attmpt to do so.  "Don't look into it" is what I always say. And like I said I'm coming at you on a Friendship tip with Much Respect.

Let's Regroup: message

Why am I putting this up ...... for one ... it is my site and I can ..... two ... I just felt like sharing ..... three .... I don't mind ya'll knowing  ..... four .....

So if you've been keeping up with this blog you will have realized that a few post goes up and then goes down, page setting changes from this to that.  To tell you all the truth, I have been playing around with this blog just to see what I can put in and so forth. If you have access to any of my other sites as well as groups that I am affiliated with, you will see that my presence haven't been there and if it is, it's still isn't all there. I am planning on coming at 2012 differently.

November will have a tone of post posted especially for the first 7 days: those that didn't make the cut the first time around and those that kinda went up then down, mainly cause of the underlying darkness that lies behind it. Thoughts that were incompleted will be set forth. See where my mind tend to travel. November will be the release of thoughts at all angels. But like I stated, 2011 was/is just a rough draft, the beginning (introduction) to whatever it is I am doing. Let's see how things go for the remaining of the year. December marks my one year on blogger and January will start something else. I do not know what is in store for next year but I do know that it will be something, so let's regroup ..... stay with me and I appreciate it.

Carry On

I never felt so much pain in my life like the one I’m feeling right now
I feel lost, betrayed, hurt, so many things in one
I aint shed so many tears in so long
How could he do me so wrong
To just up and leave and be gone
Love give me the strength to carry on strong

Spread the news far beyond the mountain plains
Let them know that I’m in search of a way to better understand
Tired of the thoughts that keeps me up at night
To loose you .. to have you ... I’m so damn confuse
My mental is drafting up one hell of a picture
I struggle with the concepts of our last fight, can’t stand to be without -cha
None-the-less I must remember that – it – is – for the best
The misuse that was brought upon me through all the abuse
I lay my head on the pillows at night still wishing that I was with - you
Reading old love letters , thought shit would get better
Thinking we were slightly lost in this stormy ass weather
Looking up high, asking myself why, still living in denial
Time to face the image in the mirror – hear a thumping getting nearer
The rhythm to that organ in my chest – boomboom – I feel yah

I never felt so much pain in my life like the one I’m feeling right now
I feel lost, betrayed, hurt, so many things in one
I aint shed so many tears in so long
How could he do me so wrong
To just up and leave and be gone
Love give me the strength to carry on strong

No longer thinking twice, can’t say I’m steady having doubts

Ghagged the words straight up out of my mouth

Young souljah from where they call the dirty dirty south

They come and they go, must learn to never loose control

To say I was dedicated like a troll, rub my tummy, let the truth be told

I never felt so much pain in my life like the one I’m feeling right now
So I drop to my knees, it’s been a long time since I officially bowed down
I feel lost, betrayed, hurt, so many things in one
Looking up to the sky, screaming why
I thought for shit like this – by you - [ sunt ] down - ur only begotten son
I aint shed so many tears in so long
Hiding behind this shield trying to stand strong
Forgetting that “Tha Unknown” neva stands alone
How could he do me so wrong, then I sit back and listen to my own song
Taking heed to this , should’ve neva rode out to this
Swift justice is bliss, all the pain have been dismissed
The Ultimate One caused him to just up and leave and be gone
Lord - gave me the strength to carry on strong

Empowered through Faith

"With mornings filled with new beginnings and moonlit skies to wish and dream upon …. may the power of faith and the strength of hope always be there to light your way …." ~ Author Unknown

Become Aware ... Support

The "5"enses

EMOTIONALLY ... PHYSICALLY ... MENTALLY ... VERBALLY ... SEXUALLY

RISE ABOVE IT ALL

"She watched as they yelled and as they hit ... she watched her childhood fading ... she wandered when a light would be lit ... and God would decide she was worth  saving ... already they yanked from her little escape ... and hurt her with more than just words ....abuse plagued the angel God loved the most .... but accidently sent down to earth " ~ Author Unknown

I am not here to tell you how to live your life nor am I here to pretend as if everything is alright. I see the child, I heard the children, I watch them as they walk, I listen to them as they speak. The way they talk, they way they play, it's all about how they behave. Hold up, wait, if it was so easily noticed through display, why have you not taken a stand and help them be brave. Protect the young, we must remain strong. I do not blame you nor do I blame myself, it is not this type of life one would chose, a state where one is left lost and confuse. Protect the young, help the young, give strentgh to those who unnoticably failed to protect the young.

Give me strength to overcome such ways. Stand beside me as I start to loose my way. Do not hesitate to take my hand in attempt to drive me away, away from such misuse. Everything happens for a reason. Build strentgh within yourself and do not allow this to hinder you. Rise above it is what I like to shout. You are a survivor, which means you are strong and have the strength to carry on. Stand before your opponenet and shout you will not be defeated. You stood then, you stand now, no matter how many times you been striked down ... keep in mind ... at this moment u still stand. You still have a chance. Come my friend. No looking back. Hand in hand.

The videos and context that follows are mainly in consideration to the children of DV.

I think these videos are really powerful and send a really good message.

Pink and Purple Nationwide Showcase

We tend to get caught up with the way of life. We tend to throw away all of the bad memories in hope to continue on with a perfectly normal life. We tend to forget about those who are around us that may be in need of our help. We tend to forget the term 'what if that was me.' We tend to forget a lot of things if it does not directly impact us. We tend to forget a lot of things hoping to get rid of the traumatic memories because it 'do' directly impact us. One way or the other the end result is to forget. Well, lets not forget and let's support the National Breast Cancer and Domestic Violence Awareness month this October by supporting many outlets dedicated to it. Let's at least start somewhere by rocking the pink and the purple ribbon. My blog will also be dedicated to this and this only during that month, along with my Facebook (NJ). Men, keep in mind that male fall victim to BC and DV as well, so help by showing your support. Pink and Purple Ribbon .... Show that you are aware. Pink and Purple Ribbon Nationwide Showcase - Join the Event